ho ho ho
father strawbmas here
the elves have asked me to pass along a little spot of diy they've been experimenting with
and i'm proud to announce that they were perhaps a little (or a lot)
inspired by a certain handsome bearded man...
christmas + elves = crafty
because why buy crackers
WHEN YOU CAN MAKE THEM
if your own personal elves are too busy this holiday season,
here's what you'll need to make the crackers yourself
oh don't me and frosty look just dashing
jolly good show
the elves have included one of my all time favourite classic jokes
luckily it'll never happen though
frosty is much too afraid of sparkly vampires
now the elves have instructed me to tell you to attach the snap...
TO MY INSIDES!?
now that doesn't sound too comfy
TO MY INSIDES!?
now that doesn't sound too comfy
oh do stop admiring me
you're making me blush
a tad more feminine than i'd like
but i can appreciate a good bow
did you know:
i have written every single christmas joke ever told.
despite what the elves might say.
pop the joke into my head
along with a nice stripy christmas hat
now for the presents, my favourite part.
you could either go for a cheeky chocolate snack...
or some makeup for a certain special lady
Mrs. Claus
LOOK AWAY NOW
why don't i look so regal

don't forget to attach a pom pom to give my hat the full beauty it requires
WHO IS THIS IMPOSTER!
i demand you give me my beard this instant!
thank you.
it suits my complexion far better
now the final step of securing the belt
hey!
wait!
no!
i didn't agree to this part!
okay well i'm off
got lots of present supervision to be doing you see
ta ta for now
see you in 12 days